Sunday, 1 January 2012

Happy New Year

Happy 2012 everyone.  The Rapture is upon us and the world is at its nigh, some of us are trying to repent so the Kingdom of Heaven will accept us, and some of us just think it's all make believe.  Personally, I'm just looking forward to all of the fantastic movies that are coming to theaters, straight to DVD and the dark bowels of the Internet waiting to be shit out and left to die.  There's a whole bunch of movies I'm looking forward to seeing so I'll get right to it.

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter looks like tremendous fun.  I just love the idea of Abe Lincoln taking on the bloodsucking creatures of the night.  The trailer and the posters are incredible.  Also, it has a 70 million budget so hopefully it'll hit UK cinemas so I can go watch it on the big screen.

The Innkeepers is one I've been dying to see for a few a while now.  Ti West is one of the most exciting directors in all of film right now.  All of his films have been great (even Cabin Fever 2 which he takes nothing to do with).  Like many others, my mind was blown away by House of the Devil and I can't wait to see what he has in store with The Innkeepers.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters looks amazing.  This is how I always liked to imagine Hansel and Gretel would have turned out after their ill fated run in with that cannibalistic old hag who lived in house fitting for a pedophile.  Anyway, the plot makes it sound fantastic but to top it all off it stars the delicious Zoe Bell, who's not only super hot but she's also super bad ass.  I'd let her kick me in the face any day and I'd hit the deck with cartoon love hearts pouring out of my eyes and my teeth spewing out of my mouth.

Django Unchained I cannot wait for.  Quentin Tarantino is my all time favorite director.  QT has always had a knack for casting the coolest and greatest names but this one is a dream.  I'm not the biggest DiCaprio or Foxx fan, but they are talented and will do a great job, but the supporting cast is unbelievable.  Every single one of them and to sweeten the deal, RZA may sign up as well.  RZA is my musical hero.

While I'm on the topic of RZA, this year we'll see his debut feature film as a director with The Man With The Iron Fists.  RZA knows good kung fu and I have every faith he'll provide us with it in his movie.  It's also co-written by the opinion splitting Eli Roth.  Me, I love Eli Roth, so the fact that he's tied to this makes it even more exciting.  I just wish he'd hurry up with Thanksgiving and Endangered Species.  Hell, I'd even take the kids movie he said he wants to make one day with Tim Allen.  In fact, that should be his priority because it sounds fucking A.

The Dark Knight Rises is going to be fucking HUGE.  I love what Nolan has done to the Batman franchise.  The same goes for The Hobbit.  That's going to be massive as well and I think it looks ace.  I love LOTR and just like LOTR, this means I don't need to read the book.

The Funhouse 3D is a remake I support.  I'm not against remakes. I do wish there wasn't as many of them and more original movies got made, but some remakes have been very good.  The Funhouse was a fun movie with a great carnival setting and a great villain, but it has potential to be better.  The remake will be fun and violent.  I'm OK with that.

The ABC's of Death is going to be a hoot. With names like Jason Eisener attached it's a must see for me personally.

Prometheus does look good.  I like Ridley Scott and most of his movies have been truly epic and I suspect this will be no different.

Hit Somebody: Home I await with both excitement and angst, because if Kevin Smith is serious then this is his last movie.  As a movie though it looks great.  I love sports comedies and it's been too long since I watched a hockey comedy (Mighty Ducks is a classic).  Alan Rickman, John Goodman and the greatest actor alive today, Michael Parks are also rumored to be involved.  I really hope he sticks Jason Mewes and Jason Biggs somewhere in there as well.

American Reunion is a film I've literally been having dreams about for years.  I watched American Pie as a teenager and I could relate to it.  I feel a strong attachment to these characters and I'm just not ready to say goodbye to them yet.  I really hope they make movies every few years just to show what stages they're all at in their lives.  Really glad Oz is back on board for this one.

I want to see Tar because it has Bruce Campbell and Zach Braff.  It also has the lovely Mila Kunis.  I'd smash that like an Idaho potato like Mos Def would say.

Have you seen the trailer for The Devil Inside?  It's COOL.  It definitely sold me and I'll be going to see this one asap.  I've been appreciating exorcism movies a lot more in the past year.  I'd always liked them but now I love them.  This looks like it could be one of the better ones.

Zombie Ass looks ridiculous and in the same vein as RoboGeisha and Tokyo Gore Police.  It's going to be splatty, OTT and inappropriate.  I can't wait.  J-Splat is a twisted but endearing genre.

The Woman In Black sounds like The Wicker Man but I still want to see it.  I love a good horror mystery.  Plus it has Daniel Radcliffe - not Harry Potter.  He's a really good actor and it's a shame people will probably only ever think of him as Harry.  Don't get me wrong, I love Harry Potter.  I actually adore it, but I want to see Daniel branch out.

I can't wait for Ghostrider: Spirit f Vengeance.  I loved the first one and I completely welcome a series.  I really hope they do another sequel set in the Old West.

The Shrine is the latest film from director of the amazing Jack Brooks Monster Slayer.  It's available here in the UK early 2012 and I can't wait to see it.  It looks completely different from Jack Brooks Monster Slayer and it should hopefully help Knautz establish himself.

Piranha 3DD looks like mindless fun.  The first one was great and even better than the original.  Blood,, babes and mutated fish with teeth.  Sounds good to me.

The Lords of Salem finally arrives this year.  I've enjoyed all of Rob Zombie's movies to date and I think this is his best idea yet, with the exception of the yet to be made Tyrannosaurus Rex.  The main reason I want to see this is for Udo Kier.  I like a good witch movie as well, but I haven't seen enough great ones.

Tim Burton is hit or miss for me, but I really want to see Dark Shadows.  I haven't seen the original series but it looks awesome.  I also think the movie looks awesome and hopefully it'll do well and the original show will get a re-run for us young 'uns to check out.

I'll conclude it here because I could go on forever.  There's so much blockbusters I want to see and there's a tonne of low budget horror I want to see, and there's surely going to be more discovered.  I'll review them as I see them folks and hopefully you'll enjoy them or discover something new.  What movies are you all looking forward to?

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