The Funhouse Closes It's Doors.

Hello readers,

It is with a not so heavy heart that I announce that The Funhouse is closing it's doors for good.  For 3 years now this has been my little haven of horror; a place for me to come and share my rambling about the strange and wonderful movies I've loved and loathed.  In that time I've met some great people, been interviewed over at the Mecca or horror blogs, Maynard's Horror Movie Diary and been a part of some fantastic discussions with fellow movie fans.  This blog has introduced me to some amazing people while allowing me to share my passion for macabre films.  However, after a year hiatus, I returned to pick up where I left off and it just hasn't been the same.  By no means has my passion for blogging stopped, actually it's quite the contrary.  I still plan on posting crap, nonsensical drivel about weird movies, but my new objective is to do it better and more consistently.  So, a fresh start is required...

From the ashes of The Funhouse comes Attack of the Couch Potato.  My new blog will feature much of the same as this one, but I want to improve, expand and reorganize.  I plan on taking it to the social networking spheres too.  I'll mostly be reviewing movies, but the ambition is bigger than that.  The expansion will include interviews with some film makers, bloggers and any other person willing to spare time to speak to me, as well as some rants and posts that are a little more themed and fun.  My pal over at For It Is Man's Number has inspired me to do ridiculous things like watch every Kurt Russell movie on the planet (a feat only accomplished by him), so expect similar movie missions.  In addition, I want to branch out and cover a wider array of movies.  They'll all fall under the umbrella of cool genre cinema still, but I want to cover a wider variety of my tastes.

Anyway, thanks to all who read this and stuck by my blog.  It's been a blast.  I'll hopefully see you on the other side.

Parents (1989)

It's little gems like this from the 80's that ensures that decade will always be my favorite for horror movies.  Parents is one of the forgotten classics of that era, and in horror as a whole.  It falls into the niche of surreal, nightmarish family dramas along with the likes of Pin and Society.  Just like these movies it's eerie, strange, disturbing and hilarious to the most warped senses of humor, but what sets Parents apart is that it's all viewed through the eyes of a young boy.  He must be one of the strangest kids I've ever seen in a movie, due to the fact he lives in quiet fear of his parents, and who could blame him?  On paper they come across as the perfect All American family in the eyes of the community.  However, there's something completely off about them from the start.  Little Michael suspects his parents might be cannibals but we're not sure if its just a nightmare or surreal twisted fantasy, but what is certain is that its only a matter of time before something sinister happens.  The movie feels dreamlike throughout and is very reminiscent of David Lynch, from the cinematography to the ominous synth scores to the violent nightmarish imagery.

It really is a strange little flick, made all the more odd by the performances of Randy Quaid and Mary Beth Hurt as Michael's parents.  Randy Quaid plays an attentive patriarch constantly giving his son advice, with something sinister lurking underneath his breadwinner façade.  Mary Beth Hurt on the other hand is the perfect Stepford Wife, and just like a Stepford Wife she's very devoid of any real humanity.  The movie was marketed as a horror comedy, but there aren't really any laugh out loud moments besides the darkly humorous psychological torment of a child living in fear of his cannibal parents.  It's funny on an offbeat level and doesn't seem to take itself too seriously, but rest assured it is very much a horror film.  I laughed lots, but many others do find it disturbing.  It's an odd, disturbing, Suburban nightmare about the psychological torment of a young boy.  It plays on the worst childhood feat that your caregivers are dangerous and sprinkles it with slightly odd, quirky, black humor.   All in all, as tasty a feature as the human flesh being cooked up on screen.  Yummy.

9/10

Elves (1989)

Say what you want about low budget 80's horror flicks, but there's no denying the atmospheres were the best and have rarely been duplicated as effectively since.  Elves might be a silly movie about horny elf creatures looking to mate with a virgin on Christmas Eve so they can start a Nazi super race to usher in the 4th Reich, but it has a wonderfully strange eeriness throughout that would make a great double feature with the likes of Pin, Night of the Demons or Parents, as well as any Puppetmaster movie.  As crappy, camp or cheesy as 80s horror movies could be, there's no denying they had a neat little vibe.  Elves, minus atmosphere, is a wonderful crapfest with some of the worst acting and best dialogue you'll ever experience.  I knew it was going to be great when the main girls little brother got caught peeping on her and unleashed a foul mouthed tirade about her ''big fucking tits'' and how he was going to tell everyone how he saw them. They weren't the biggest, but there was definitely something to grab.  It made me want a sister to perv on.  Throw in a wheelchair riding, Nazi, inbreeding grandfather/father, a pervy Santa who wants ''oral'' and a disgraced heroic chain smoker and we have a classic on our hands.  The beauty of this movie is it's not supposed to be a comedy at all, but some of the lines are just comedy gold.  Want to see for yourself?  Here it is.

You're welcome.

 
Really makes you think hose pesky Nazi's were really up to...

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

If you haven't heard of Guardians of the Galaxy this year then you've been living under a rock.  It's been everywhere, and as a result has become somewhat of a pop culture phenomenon with massive franchise potential.  It's been embraced by average cinema goers and cult film fanatics, fanboys and families, ferrets and grandmothers alike.  Everyone and their mother seems to have embraced this movie.  It's been a critical and financial success worldwide, the same as the majority of the Marvel movies.  So what makes this different than your average superhero movie?  Why is this huge summer blockbuster being covered on this crappy horror blog a few posts above John Waters trashy opus Pink Flamingos?  I've never been one to review big budget, Hollywood blockbusters on here despite being a fan of a lot of them.  Well my reason for reviewing this is simply because I've fallen in love with this movie like I have every other James Gunn feature.  He's one of my heroes and a director I follow passionately.  I'm not just a fan of his work, I'm a fan of the person.  He's a good humored, funny, passionate film fan with a deep appreciation for cinema, from the Scorcese classics to the Troma toilet movies where he made his start in the industry, having penned Troma's take on Shakespeare, Tromeo and Juliet, which can only be described as an unheralded masterpiece of film.  I don't watch a lot of the Marvel movies these days as I don't find them all that appealing.  If I do watch them it's because I'm at the theatre and my friends want to go see them.  I've enjoyed them for what they are, but they haven't excited me.  So how did I feel about one of my heroes signing on to make Guardians of the Galaxy instead of another dark comedy I'd become accustomed to and loved?  Well to be honest I was looking forward to it.  I knew a James Gunn blockbuster would still be entertaining, even if it was to be another standard throwaway superhero flick.  What I didn't expect was the magical adventure that made me feel like the mesmerised child who just watched Star Wars for the first time.  For the 2 hour duration of this feature I was a 5 years old again completely immersed in adventure so much I felt a part of it.  Not only has James Gunn made the greatest space adventure of all time, he's also conjured up magic that's going to live in the hearts of millions worldwide for generations to come, much like the classics by Spielberg and Lucas.  Not only has James Gunn established himself as one of the finest working directors in the world today, he just so happens to have gained a foothold on a path that will potentially lead him to legendary universal status like the directors just mentioned, and just like them, he'll capture the hearts of many, who like me, have a romantic attachment to cinema.  All across the world right now are children lost in their own imaginations daydreaming of space voyage and adventure, and James Gunn has stumbled on to the franchise that should indulge the fantasies of those who spend moments of their day with their heads in the stars.

I loved this, as you can probably tell, but what made it so special is that it's still very much a James Gunn movie.  His strange sense of humor hasn't been compromised at all.  It might not be dark and twisted like Super or a disgusting body horror like Slither, but his stamp is visible in every scene.  There's cameos by Greg Henry, Nathan Fillion, Rob Zombie and Lloyd Kauffman once again and there's a substantial supporting role for the great Michael Rooker.  It should give my fellow geeks a huge thrill to see these actors strut their stuff in the biggest movie of the year.  Personally I loved seeing Gunn's band of misfits light up the blockbuster of the summer.  Other than Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel, the cast doesn't have big box office names at all, and Vin Diesel's character Groot repeats the same 3 words the entire movie.  Chris Pratt, mostly known for his work on the excellent Parks & Recreation, did not go into this as a star name, but he's came out of it primed for the big time.  Benecio Del Toro has a small role as The Collector which made me happy as I feel he's one of the best actors on the planet who is criminally forgotten by the mainstream.  Gunn has embraced his roots as a B movie genre film maker by casting his type of actors, and the results have been incredible, especially the hilarious star making performance of Dave Batista.  As a wrestling fan I can assure you he wasn't that good at anything in WWE, but James Gunn has managed to bring out one of the funniest performances in recent memory from the big brute.

As entertaining as huge blockbusters can be, most of them lack heart.  Guardians of the Galaxy has heart in abundance.  The band of misfits we follow throughout their journey are characters we fall in love with and care about greatly.  It's a team of heroes with their own unique identities, untraditional and a little odd.  The Avengers they are not, and that's what makes them so endearing.  Throughout the movie we witness these petty criminal outsiders come together to form a heart warming friendship as they save the universe from the evil Ronan The Accusor, played by the amazing Lee Pace, whose facial expressions alone are worth the price of the DVD, or effort to illegally stream.  There's a lot of humor in this movie and it wears it on its sleeve, but there's also a few emotional moments that bring on the weepies.  The opening scene is actually quite heartbreaking.  It's nice to see an action packed sci-fi adventure in 2014 with well established characters, laughs aplenty humor and emotional depth.  I can't recommend this enough.  Pick it up now and share it with your current or future children.  This is one for the ages.

10/10

Blue Ruin (2013)

2014 has been a great year for movies in my opinion, and what's made it so great for me especially is independent films.  There's great independent films every year and as film fans we can always rely on them to give us an alternative to the often creatively constrained and low risk studio features.  Independent films are where many of us genre fans turn for no-holds barred experimental cinema.  However, sometimes independent movies are amazing because of their simplicity   Such is the case with Blue Ruin, which takes the common theme of revenge and executes it to a high standard, with the end results being one of, if not the best, movie of 2014.  A throwback thriller in the vein of the Coen Brothers, and like the movies of the aforementioned comparison, its an offbeat film where the protagonist is far from suited to the violent events he has entangled himself in.  It's a simple story of revenge, made engrossing with the constantly moving story progression, tangible tension throughout and a few touches of black comedy that will have you laughing at the most unexpected moments (if you're a sicko).

Blue Ruin is the second full-length independent between director Jeremy Saulnier and actor Macon Blair.  Their previous movie Murder Party (2007) is forgotten, but nonetheless hilarious splatter comedy, which won some awards at horror film festivals.  If you like a bloody good laugh then Murder Party is one that I'd recommend.  It doesn't take itself seriously at all, but it does show that Saulnier is a diverse talent.  Murder Party is intentionally silly, but genuinely funny.  Blue Ruin, not without its dark humor, is a more serious affair, and a different beast entirely.  Comparisons to the Coen brothers are rife, but warranted, and that should not take anything away from Saulnier's modern masterpiece.  It's an American gothic noir with impressive visuals, oddball characters, deadpan humor and mid-western setting, so naturally Blood Simple, Fargo and No Country For Old Men will spring to mind.  It wouldn't be out of place in a Coen Brothers filmography, but that's not to say it isn't 100% Saulnier's vision and his own unique stamp on cinema, because it very much is.  However, the Coens' have such a rich tapestry for characters and Dwight would fit in nicely with their family.

Blue Ruin immediately draws the viewer in with Dwight, our hero as such, looking shaggy, stealing bath water and living out of his car.  Nothing is known about him, but it's apparent that he has a story to tell and the viewer is sucked in.  It doesn't take long for the blood shed to begin thereafter.  Unlike many other revenge thrillers, this isn't an action packed kill frenzy.  Action takes a back seat to slow moving character portrayal and the unravelling of a story about a scared man, out of his depth, trying to right the wrongs done to his family.  He is by no means the bad ass action hero we're accustomed to, and that's what makes this film so incredible.  He's just an awkward, everyday guy who has no clue what he's doing.  This gives the movie a sense of realism missing in most revenge flicks and most regular guys watching this will probably think they'd go about a situation like this of their own the same way.  In summary, Dwight is no Machete.  He's not even Kevin Bacon in Death Sentence.  He may be the most unlikeliest assassin in cinema history since Dustin Hoffman in Straw Dogs.

In addition to the performance of Macon Blair, which is nothing short of exceptional, and the engaging story, the visuals on display make this movie impressive.  Set against a West Virginia backdrop, this adds to Dwight's isolation and overall tension throughout, which at times is so strong that it becomes almost a horror movie.  There's one scene in particular in the first half where Dwight is alone in his sisters house awaiting assailants to come for him.  It's very chilling and uncomfortable viewing.  There's a couple of scenes like that which I found very effective.  The violence is strong when it happens.  The film does not shy away from the bloodshed when it deems it necessary and fellow gore hounds will get a kick from the kills.  It really is such a complete piece.

Overall, I consider this a must see for any fans of thrillers.  It has everything a thriller should have.  2014 has been a great year for throwbacks to the Coen classics and Blue Ruin would make an excellent double feature with No Country, Fargo and Blood Simple, as well as Jim Mickle's Cold In July, which is another impressive homage to the thrillers of the 80's and one I plan on reviewing at a later date.  Blue Ruin is deserving of the plaudits being sent its way and I really urge you all to pick it up.

9/10

Evil Dead (2013)

It's only taken me 2 months but I finally got round to watching the remake/re-imagining/re-whatever of one of my all time favorite movies The Evil Dead.  When I first saw the trailer I thought it looked average and I was in no rush to see it.  It wasn't until some people I trust started raving about it that I finally started to make the prospect of watching it a high item on my life agenda.  Still, I had my doubts.  However, it didn't take long for those doubts to vanish and force my eyes to become glued to one of the greatest horror movies, if not the greatest horror movie, of the year so far.  I'm sure you've all seen it already and formed an opinion.  I understand it's going to have it's haters but here's what I loved about it.

After watching this, I wouldn't call it a remake.  It could just as easily be a sequel or accompanying piece to the original series.  The beauty of Evil Dead is that it has a great mythology that allows it to create its own universe.  Once you have that universe then you have room for expansion.  Alvarez done the right thing by introducing new characters as opposed to modern versions of our beloved heroes and victims of yesteryear.  He respected the original and created something new to co-exist alongside it.  I love that.  It not only means a bright future for the Evil Dead universe, but also for horror as a whole as we can get more and more Evil Dead, right?

The movie itself was not without flaws, but I'll get to them later.  I'll start with the strengths.  What impressed me more than anything was the underlying drug theme.  I really felt this gave the character of Mia and the story some real depth and backbone.  What better way to add to a story about overcoming demons than to include the use of  a real life demon that affects a lot of people?  I dug that.  Another strength was that it was visually stunning and constantly eerie until the relentless mayhem begun.  Then of course, there was the gore.  I can't remember the last time I seen so much carnage in a mainstream horror movie.  This did push some boundaries and one can only hope it's an indication for the future of horror movies that make theaters.  I enjoyed how some deaths homaged the originals, with the addition of some how grizzly, bloody messes.  The chainsaw severing at the end was fantastic.

Now, the flaws.  This is mostly down to my obsessive geekiness when it comes to Evil Dead but the Necromicon annoyed me.  The red English scribbles annoyed me.  It took away from the mystique of the book that's always been one of the most fascinating mythologies in cinema.  Second, the Deadites could have looked much better (by that, I mean more hideous and demonic).  Lastly, the characters could have been a little better developed.  For awhile it looked as if we were getting to know them all, but then all of a sudden they were dying.  With the exception of Ash however, the original characters were poorly developed as well so I can't complain.  Like the original, the lack of character depth was made up for by watching a nightmare unfold.  I just thought they were onto something here and didn't quite see it through until the end.

Overall, what can I say?  It really proved me wrong.  I loved this movie and I can't wait for the sequel, and hopefully more sequels, along with a possible Army of Darkness sequel with Ash.  There's a lot of room left in the universe and I want to see it tapped for all its potential.

Feeding Frenzy (2010)

Boy was this movie ingeniously stupid.  By that I mean it's trying to be stupid, but it's actually quite hilarious.  I genuinely laughed out loud all through this.  Feeding Frenzy is an homage to the critter monster movies of the 80's, only much more deadpan in its humor.  This is one dry, intentionally awkward movie and that's why I instantly fell in love with it.  It's centered around the awkward main character Jesse, an awkward unlucky in love hardware store employee who suffers daily abuse from his crippled boss and constant rejection from the girl he's loved since high school.  On top of this his roommate is ill after suffering a heart attack just the week before.  Sounds like an everyday situation, but man is Jesse awkward... Anyway, Jesse has suspicion to believe that his boss is harboring a dark secret and sets out to uncover it.  What he finds in the hardware store basement only adds to his problems and it's up to the hopeless Jesse to stop the secret from eating the townsfolk.  Anyone who has read my blog for awhile will know that I love horror comedy, especially ones with slacker/awkward characters.  That's probably because I can relate to characters like this to an etent.  I haven't been watching a lot of movies the past couple of months and this made me look at myself in the mirror, slap my face with a wet fish and scream, ''WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?''

So why should you watch it?

You probably shouldn't.  It's not going to change your life for the better.  Your friends will probably think it's weird and your mom will hate it.  But hey, that's why you should watch it.  If you enjoy a senseless fun music experience then look no further.  Feeding Frenzy is a cheap homage/parody to the cheeky critter movies of yesteryear.  Imagine Troma decided to get a little more tasteful and hire some writers with darker, more mature comedic sensibilities, but you know, still obviously smoked a lot of pot and enjoyed crafting sexual innuendos about hookers with blood gushing from their head.  I think what gave me the Troma vibe was the cheap production and the absolutely loatheable villain.  The movie, as cheap as it is, is very well directed and has an atmosphere which compliments the deadpan nature of it.  The score is cheesy, menacing and Danny Elfman like which bobs along with the mischief.  As for gore and F/X, it's cheap but cheerful.

Overall, a fun B movie for those of you who love fun B movies with awkward characters.  This is made out of sheer love of direct to video cheesefests of the 80's, but it never descends into out of control schlock.  A movie like this could so easily descend into chaotic shlock and absurdity, but it manages to bridge the gap and stay somewhat classy... so to speak.  The comedy is genuinely hilarious and these guys, as little as I know about them, appear to have some genuine talent.  Who knows what they could go with a bigger budget?

P.S.

It's good to be back

John Dies At The End (2013)

Every so often a movie comes along that feels like magic.  In the entire universe of movies, where a lot of films are stars shining brightly in the sky, that one comes along that's a shooting star that makes all your wishes come true.  Something so original and amazing that it makes you so happy to be a genre film fan.  John Dies At The End is one of those movies.  Don Coscarelli has a habit of producing shooting stars actually.  This has been made out of love more than anything else.  It's so wonderfully weird and surreal as well as being funny and unhinged.  A bonafide classic in the making.  A combination of slacker comedy, off beat horror and surreal outlandish weirdness, it's unlike no other movie in recent years, with geeky nods to genre movies and the use of practical effects, it's pretty much a guaranteed wet dream for the audience it's intended for.  Bare in mind this is a film made for genre geeks by a genre geek with a cast who appear to be having a blast (including Paul Giamatti).  It's great to see everyone having so much fun, but also acting with a passion and the intention to make something truly wonder.

The story revolves around 2 slackers, David and John, particularly David.  It deals with the effects of a drug called ''soy sauce'' that not only gives its users heightened senses and psychic abilities, but it also allows them to travel dimensions.  However, when the doors to these dimensions are opened it means things can come into our world.  It turns into a hallucinogenic, surreal, hilarious nightmarish mind warp as Dave and John try to save the world from nasty creatures.

The creatures in this movie are fantastic and original (a meat monster for instance).  It's very old school but with it being a breath of fresh air.  Coscarelli films have always made great use of set-ups and looked rather awesome despite always being low budget.  He's a very talented director that won't ever get the credit he deserves beyond his loyal fan base.  The gore is well done albeit very cheesy looking but it's not supposed to be serious and it adds to the films charm.  All of the actors as I said are fantastic.  Perfect casting choices and a nice cameo from the Tall Man, Angus Schrimm.

This had the same effect that seeing movies like Evil Dead, Braindead, Bubba Ho-Tep, Idle Hands and other surreal, off beat masterpieces had the first time I watched them.  Most of those directors have went on to do blockbusters now and probably won't ever return to their roots (not that I don't like their blockbusters).  It's just nice to see Coscarelli still around to produce the magic.  Cinema is a magical thing, but Coscarelli is a more masterful wizard than most.

Happiness (1998)

Todd Solondz, you beautiful man.  I have a feeling you're going to become one of my favorite filmmakers.  One of my favorite genres is dark comedy.  In fact, it might be my favorite.  Todd Solondz' 1998 masterpiece, Happiness is black comedy at is finest and to some, its most disturbing.  It revolves around the lives of many people trying to find happiness, but some of the things that make them happy aren't exactly accepted within the norms of society.  We have a pedophile father who has daydreams about a killing spree in a park, but he is a good father, who gives his son all the advice he needs on masturbation.  Then there's the stalker who makes threatening phone calls to women to get himself off.  Or how about the woman who's in love with him who breaks into homes just to cuddle but hates sex?  Did I mention she was raped, murdered her attacker, cut him up and left him in the freezer?  We don't see a lot of this stuff happen, but we're very well informed that it did.


Happiness is centered around the lives of 3 sisters who live in different worlds.  There's Joy, a lonely songwriter who's unlucky in love and in luck.  She tries to do good but only bad things happen to her.  Helen is a successful writer with an obsessive neighbor who makes violently graphic phone calls.  When he can't live up to his threats, Helen is disappointed.  Lastly, we have Trish.  On paper she has the perfect life; a family, a successful husband, carpool, etc. However, she doesn't have the creativity her sisters have.  Her husband also happens to have some uncontrollable urges.  The sisters parents are also on the verge of separation.  Not exactly the Brady Bunch, eh?

I don't know if Happiness is supposed to be a satire on American family life, but it certainly is effective.  Each character is searching for happiness but only end up with disappointment.  It's a daring movie that really makes us think.  We get to know each character so well and genuinely want them to find happiness, but then again, how can you root for a deranged neurotic telephone pervert or a pedophile who has openly sexual conversations with his son?  Damn, it's funny though.  At the end of the movie when little Billy says, ''I came'' you'll laugh, but you'll also cheer for the little guy because, in a way, it's a happy ending (no pun intended lol).  You see, ''cumming'' was all he wanted to do the entire movie so at least one of them found ''happiness.''

Disturbing content?  You betcha.  However, it's all presented in a humorous way that you'll be laughing with ease.  We shouldn't laugh at these people but we do.  We even kinda like them, and some of them we definitely shouldn't.  I really recommend this.

Pink Flamingos (1972)

TRASH!!!

... And intentionally so.

If there's ever a movie that just wants to piss everybody off then it's this piece of garbage.  I don't think I've ever watched anything this repulsive.  It's not just the acts portrayed that are disgusting, but the characters and the actors/actresses playing them are genuinely horrible human beings.  This movie has it all; cannibalism, chicken sex, incest, on screen fellatio, poop eating, chained up women forced to give birth so their offspring can be sold to lesbians, streaking, more poo, a handcapped grandmother who eats eggs in her crib, murder, rape... You get the picture.  But it's all conducted in the silliest manner possible.  This is definitely in your face, balls to the wall, filth for the sake of being filthy and it laughs at us as we watch.  I don't know what else to say.  I enjoyed it but it's terrible.  Many claim it's a masterpiece.  It's certainly original.  It's an ''exercise in bad taste'' and it does it job successfully.  I won't ever watch it again but I need to applaud John Waters ''fuck you'' attitude.

Excision (2012)

Richard Bates Jr is one of those directors that comes along every so often and blows you out of the water.  He may only be one full feature into his career, but it's definitely one to get excited over.  Excision is a modern masterpiece and I mean that.  This movie is just so unique; it's a horror comedy at heart that manages to be funny, disturbing and gross, while also being heartwarming, sentimental and on some levels, identifiable.  In high school, everyone knew a girl like Pauline (a much less exaggerated version, of course).  By that I mean, we all knew a weird kid who got picked on.  I remember a girl at my school who had a horrid time and Pauline reminded me of her.  This movie has so many dimensions.  It's a story about social outcast who's alienated from her peers, her troubled family (especially her mother), her church and her teachers.  It deals with the awkwardness of sexuality as a teenager and the coming of age into adulthood.  These are the core themes of the movie but Richard Bates has thrown in some body horror, deranged dream sequences and lots of uneasy moments to make this one of the best horror movies to come out... ever.  It's also one of the best dramas, comedies and character studies in recent history.  Maybe it's too soon to call it one of the best horrors of all time, but it's certainly one of the best that's came about in my lifetime.

I mean it.  This is a guaranteed cult classic and it's going to split opinions.  So far reviews have been very polarising, but with a movie with this much experimentation it's bound to happen.  Fortunately though, the experiments pay off.  In fact, they come together seamlessly.  Imagine if John Hughes and David Cronenberg in the 80's made a movie.  Throw in some David Lynch, Todd Solondz and Alejandro Jodorowsky and you have an idea and it mixes together with ease.  I really can't praise this enough.  I laughed, I cringed, I related on an emotional level and at times I felt genuinely disturbed.

There's a few recognisable faces on board, in particular genre favourites such as John Waters, Ray Wise and Malcolm Mcdowell.  We also have that dude from Desperate Housewives who was also in Hostel.  The stars of the show are Traci Lords and even more so, Annalynne McCord, who not only escapes her 'Naomi from 90210' image, but she makes Pauline her own.  This was a demanding role and she sells it more than convincingly.  If movies like this won Oscars then she'd be shoe in.  Richard Bates' imagery is very macabre and at times, dream like.  Despite its depravity at times, it's rather beautiful to watch.

Overall, a masterpiece but see it for yourself and decide.  It's an opinion divider for sure.  I found it to be sick, twisted, yet tender and emotional fun.  At it's heart, it's a teenage/family angst story turned up to extreme volumes.

The Baytown Outlaws (2012)

Ever since the classic Grindhouse collaboration between Tarantino and Rodriguez in 2007, we've seen a number of grindhouse style movies follow.  Most of them have their tongues placed firmly in their cheek in loving homage to exploitation films of yesteryear, but I think they're all a breath of fresh air and a nice little new wave of grindhouse cinema is happening before our eyes.  There's been a few little gems since 2007 and Baytown Outlaws is the latest.  It wears it's Tarantino on its sleeve (perhaps unintentional but the director admits True Romance was one of his main inspirations when writing this) and proudly so.  Barry Battles has went out with the intention of making a ''Southern whip-ass extravaganza'' and he's duly delivered.  It's lighthearted black comedy (if that makes sense) at its finest, full of laughs, action and blood.  There's hot chicks on motorcycles, Eva Longoria in daisy dukes and Billy Bob Thornton being a sleaze.  What's not to love right there?  What makes this movie though is our ''heroes'' the Oodie brothers, 3 redneck guns for hire.

The 3 brothers are hired by Eva Longoria's character to get her godson back from her gangster ex-husband, played by Bill Bob. It also so happens that her godson is in a wheelchair.  After failing to kill Thornton's character, he sends out assassins to track down the brothers and kill them.  It's a simple story; the great American action road movie through the South with killers in pursuit, including the insatiable Zoe Bell and her murdering biker gang of prostitutes.  Throw in some Clutch and Skynyrd, guns and army vehicles and you have quite the romp.

There's already a shootout by the time the opening credits get rolling and it sets the tone for what's to follow.  This is action packed to the max and it doesn't disappoint.  The banter between the brothers is hilarious and really endears them to the audience and gets us rooting for them.  It almost makes you forget that they too are ruthless killers.  Their relationship with the kid they need to recover gives the movie some sweet charm, but overall, it's just a free for all with no morally redeeming characters whatsoever.  This is a fun 90 minutes indeed if you like these kind of films.  I love them.  Think Smokey and the Bandit meets True Romance.  Or as another reviewer suggested, Tarnatino directing Dukes of Hazzard.

Keoma (1976)

A fellow horror lover on IMDB made an interesting post saying that horror movies and spaghetti westerns go hand in hand.  I think it's a fair point and I agree with it to an extent.  There's lots of shared themes in both types of film.  Personally, I don't understand why there isn't more horror/western hybrids.  Think about the Old West as a setting for a horror film.  Why hasn't it been tapped into more.  In fact, why hasn't it be done so often that we're not sitting here right now thinking, ''Oh no!  Not another horror western.''  Anyway, I'll save this topic for my next post, because believe me, I have a LOT to say on it and I hope some high up movie person sees my little insignificant rant and does something to make it a reality.  Until then, I want to talk about Enzo G. Castellari's cult classic, Keoma, starring the original Django, Franco Nero.  This movie is so good that people still consider it a masterpiece in spite of its atrocious soundtrack (which didn't bother me much but I'll admit it wasn't exactly Morricone standards).  This is considered a classic among many fans of spaghetti westerns and after watching it, I understand why.

Nero stars as Keoma, a half-breed who returns to his hometown after serving in the Civil War to find it under the control of a vicious gang, which includes his 3 brothers.  They're pretty mean bastards as they force the sick townspeople into slave labour and treat women with the utmost disrespect to say the least.  It's up to Keoma to save the day and restore order to the town with the help of an old friend.

Apparently, the script was binned before shooting and they all just kinda made this up as they went along.  I can believe that to be the case as the dialogue isn't exactly going to win any awards.  Furthermore, there's no real cohesion to the plot.  It does however make up for those misdemeanours with raw emotion, bleak grittiness, impressive shots, beautiful landscapes, appropriate settings and some fine slow motion, action packed shootouts (the big shootout at the end is fantastic).

I recommend this movie strongly.  In a genre that has spawned countless movies (including a lot of trash), this really stands out.  Watch it now with all of the Django Unchained excitement in the air (Nero has a part in Tarantino's new 'Southern', I believe).

Man With The Iron Fists (2012)

Hey guys.  It's been awhile I know, but I haven't really been watching a lot of horror or cult movies recently.  It's practically been wrestling on my TV screen for a couple of months now, but I'm back to my geeky film habits in time for Christmas and shall get back to my blogging ways.  I figured making my return with one of the most anticipated movies of my life would be appropriate.

I meant what I just said.  No one has looked forward to Man With The Iron Fists more than me.  I'm the world's biggest fan of hip hop, in particular Wu Tang Clan.  So when I heard RZA was directing his first kung fu feature, co-written with Eli Roth and produced by Tarantino, I really couldn't contain my excitement.  I expected a fun, over-the-top, violent movie that was full of pastiche style over substance and that's exactly what I got.  A lot of people are hating on this film and I can see why, but for me it did exactly what I wanted it to do.  To put it plain and simple - it's fun.


This film isn't for the uptight and you definitely need a sense of humor to enjoy it.  I mean, take Russell Crowe's character.  His name is Jack Knife, he refer's to his endowment as the ''baby's arm'' and he gets up to his guts in prostitutes.  Ex wrestler Dave Batista also plays a devastating golden cyborg.  See what I'm getting it?  Personally I loved these elements.  However, there is some real strengths in this movie, especially considering it's RZA's first time directing.  The action is frequent and bloody and although not on the level of the Shaw Brothers, it's still pretty damn good.  RZA as a writer has a great imagination and it's nice to see his ideas on the big screen.  It's completely historically and culturally inaccurate,  it hops along to a hip hop soundtrack and it's a little bit cheesy but I loved it and others who enjoy mindless popcorn flicks probably will get a kick out of it.

The IMDB October Challenge: Day 6

Another successful night.  Once again I watched a masterpiece and my second viewing wasn't too bad either.

Grave Encounters (2007)

I don't really watch a lot of found footage/documentary style horror movies.  It's not because I dislike them (I've enjoyed most of them) but I always find myself just not in the mood to watch them on a regular basis.  I guess it's because I don't get scared ever, so the realism they try and portray does nothing for me except entertain me for 90 mins.  The one documentary style movie I love is The Last Exorcism but it's because of the incredible ending.  After reading so many good reviews about this one I thought maybe I was going to find my next found footage love.  I didn't.  Now, don't get me wrong, it was good but the slow burn could have been just a tad faster and when it exploded, it should have kept upping the ante.  With ghost stories, I want something that gets well and truly demented.  Insidious & The Innkeepers were slow burn masterpieces with some really messed adrenaline fulled finales, but not this.  Sure, it had it's moments but they just felt quite tame.  The ideas I have in my head as to how this would have been better would have made this a masterpiece.  When stuff happened it was good, but they should have kept throwing it at us and showed us a little bit more.  I mean, the villain was a surgeon.  Why not have him put a drill through someones head?  Or have a ghost chopping someone to pieces on a surgical table?  I just watched this wanting stuff that wasn't going to happen to happen.  I want more fucked up moments from movies like this in general.  Overall, it was a good movie.  It's been done before, but it's well executed and does everything right.  This would scare people who weren't sick, demented freaks like me.  7/10

Book of Blood (2009)

Pfft.  Typical.  Just another masterpiece adaptation of a Clive Barker story.  When will they stop with these incredible pieces of cinema?  Never I hope and if any good filmmaker is reading this I have a request - PLEASE MAKE EVERY CLIVE BARKER STORY INTO A STUNNING MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Just like Hellraiser, Lord of Illusions, Nightbreed and Midnight Meat Train, I've fell in love with yet another Clive Barker story (Dread is my next watch).  May I also add that I really enjoy the terrible Underworld flick from the 80's that is of far inferior quality to any other Barker movie.  Anyway, on to Book of Blood.  I was hooked on this from the start until the finish.  From the very first scene I was gripped.  This was so original and just had the right amount of everything when needed (gore, sex, mystery, ghosts..).  I understand this is quite a criticised movie; some reviews have called it generic, etc but I say ignore them.  This movie has moments that will stick with you for the rest of your life.  It's a great story full of imagination brought to screen in a visually stunning way with scenes that you watch with shivers up your spine and joy in your eyes. 9/10

The IMDB October Challenge: Day 5

This was a great day as I discovered an outstanding independent movie and a director whose body of work I bought as a result.  I also watched a fun kill-teens-look-at-boobs movie.  So overall, a fun day.

Lo (2009)

Lo isn't a horror movie in the conventional sense.  Actually, I dare you to watch it and then try and compare it to anything you've ever seen before.  I sure can't and I've watched a lot of horror, comedy, mumblecore and *cough* romantic drama.  Lo is a combination of all of these genres, with a little musical thrown in.

The entire film revolves around a conversation between Justin and the demon, Lo.  Justin has summoned Lo for one reason and one reason only - to bring back the woman he loves from the pits of Hell.  Not once in the entire movie do they leave Justin's living room (not even when there's flashbacks as the stories are projected on the wall of the living room).  We meet one or two other characters along the way (demons of course) and as the story progresses, it takes some surprising turns for Justin.  The movie is also set out like a stage play, which I found worked in its favor as, not only is it very low budget, but it also gives the film more uniqueness and originality.  I haven't seen any of Travis Betz other movies, but I have ordered the full set as every single one of them appeals to me.  I suggest you do the same because he seems like a unique talent and from what I've read about his other movies, he's impossible to pigeonholed.  In a genre where people often complain about lack of originality existing anymore... Travis Betz.  That's originality.  I also recommend his interviews as he's pretty damn funny, but also really insightful.  Lo is a funny, original, bizarre, romantic and ultimately tragic love story that's wrapped in a horror blanket. 9/10.

 Buried Alive (2007)

This is just another run-of-the-mill supernatural slasher that pleasantly passes some time but doesn't leave a lasting impression.  There's some boobs though.  I really did have a good time watching it, but it had the potential to be so much better.  To start with, the killer wasn't really explained at all.  A little more insight into the legend could have made this so much better.  In addition, the characters were quite stupid.  I mean, there's always stupid characters in slashers.  Other than a little incest and some nice boobs, there's nothing to make them memorable past my next drunken weekend.  Anyway, some better deaths would have improved this leaps and bounds.  There was one death that's outstanding though involving a guys face and the ending was pretty spectacular so all in all I give it 7/10.  Watch it to pass the time without thinking.

The IMDB October Challenge: Day 4

This has been an extremely unproductive day, but an extremely enjoyable one as I've discovered some great horror, and one movie in particular which just happens to be one of the best movies I've seen in a long time.

Smiley (2012)

Smiley doesn't exactly break any new ground but it does try to stand out from the pact and offer a fresh concept to the slasher genre.  This could be the Candyman for the Skype generation, so parents, please let your children see this so they become terrified of chat rooms, video calls and all other forms of social networking with strangers on the internet.  For us adults, it's not scary, but it is a fun movie with a lot of ambition and effort oozing from it.  Michael J. Gallagher is definitely a filmmaker to look out for in the future. 6/10

Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981)

Why isn't there more movies about scarecrows?  Sure, there's a good few of them, but really they should be the new werewolf or vampire.  They should be making romantic movies for tweens with scarecrows instead of vampires and werewolves.  Scarecrows are incredibly cool and super freaky.  Now, I watched this expecting the holy grail of scarecrow movies, but what I got was something completely different.  This was more of a mystery as opposed to the scarecrow hack 'n' slash I was kinda wanting.  However, I still really enjoyed it.  It has a really great atmosphere, a great story and some great performances.  The gore and kills aren't great, but it was 1981 after all.  I also love the fact that the true villains are the humans. 6/10

Slashers (2001)

As you'll soon find out, Maurice Devereaux who wrote and directed this is my new favorite person... but more on that later.  Slashers is a movie I've been meaning to check out for years, but I've just always ended up watching something else instead.  Well, tonight I bit the bullet and the gunpowder tasted great.  This is a fantastic satire on the society in which we live; a society where people are prepared to do almost anything for fame and money while the public watches them humiliate and degrade themselves from the comfort of their living room sofa.  Out of all the movies that have used reality TV as a plot for carnage, this one is the most overlooked.  I really hope they make many sequels to this, but unfortunately the already penned sequel is owned by a now bankrupt company.  Anyway, this is a really fun movie. 7/10

End of the Line (2007)

I just had to save the best one for last.  This movie is the reason why Maurice Devereaux is my new favorite person.  He funded this with his own money and hasn't made anything since because he can't get any studio backing, but this is an independent masterpiece.

Set in a subway, a train full of passengers comes to a halt.  On board, is a group of religious fanatics who await being paged to do ''God's work'' on Judgement day.  Well, they get paged and go on a killing spree believing they are saving the souls of their victims on the night of the Apocalypse.  The pursued victims however, not only have crazed cult fanatics after them, but they fear for their very own sanity.  This is raw, unrestricted, ambitious horror that reminded me of everything I love about the genre in the first place. I really can't praise this enough.  If you like Clive Barker you'll love it.  9/10

Great day overall and I aim to top it as the Challenge progresses.  Please watch End of the Line peeps. I beg you.  It's too good.

The IMDB October Challenge: Day 3

Day 3 was a good one, only with one letdown.  Not every film is going to hit the spot when you're watching them for the first time, but overall 2/3 of the first time watches were lots of fun and revisiting a trustworthy gem made the day a YAY.

The Ambulance (1990)

Another Larry Cohen movie high on fun factor.  Just like another penned Cohen movie, Maniac Cop, the villain in this one is a figure society is supposed to trust (an ambulance, whereas Maniac Cop was a police officer).  Cohen is a genius when it comes to writing stories, and the concept here is truly horrific.  However, the execution isn't utilised to its full potential.  What could have been a truly terrifying movie turns out to be more of a fast paced, fun, action packed romp with great performances from Eric Roberts and James Earl Jones.  The movie gets going quickly and never stops for a breath for the entire duration.  This is mindless popcorn entertainment and like many Cohen movies, extremely overlooked.  7/10/

Asylum Blackout (2011)

Torture porn is pretty hit or miss for me, but like all horror sub genres, it has its good and bad.  Asylum Blackout is an example of when it's good.  The movie is about chefs who work in a mental asylum for the criminally insane who get trapped with the inmates during a storm.  It takes awhile to get into the nasty stuff, which allows us to get to know and care for our characters (well I kinda wanted to see them getting cut to little pieces but a normal human being would feel bad for them).  This had an incredible atmosphere (isolated asylum, lightning storm) and some really nasty scenes.  The gore hound will be one satisfied pooch with this one.  The ending to this is sure to polarise the audience.  I know some people who hated it.  Personally, I enjoyed it for being so unexpected.  7/10 

Werewolf: The Beast Among Us (2012)

I had high hopes for this.  I really wanted this to be good.

After hearing that there was going to be a sequel/reboot to The Wolfman, I was excited.  I loved The Wolfman remake.  It had a great old school vibe but with modern viciousness.  Sure, I wasn't expecting this to be as good but I thought it'd still be a god movie.  Now, don't get me wrong, this had its moments.  The gore was good and the creatures were quite cool, but other than that it was like a man on a mission Syfy movie.  I beg of you not to spend your money on this until it's in a bargain bin.  Is it worth a watch? Yes, but only when there's nothing else on and you don't want to think.  Is it good?  No.  This does have its moments, but overall it's just bland.  Half an hour in I felt like I'd been watching it for an hour.  5/10.

Fright Night (1985)

I revisited this one because my girlfriend rudely interrupted my October Challenge by wanting to spend time with me.  She didn't want to watch any of the movies I wanted to watch, but after telling me she seen the remake (a good one if you ask me) and thought it was excellent, I just had to make her watch the original. She enjoyed it.

Anyway, what can you say about Fright Night?  It's a blast.  I don't regard it as a classic like a lot of horror fans do, and I also prefer the sequel, but I still think it's a hugely enjoyable, funny movie with amazing special effects, great performances and a kick ass soundtrack.  Definitely a movie for this time of year.  7.5/10

The IMDB October Challenge: Day 2

Day 2 was a slow one for me but I did choose something a little special.  This movie is on Youtube and I shall link you too it.  Extremely bonkers stuff indeed.

The Boxer's Omen (1983)

One of my new missions in life is to watch every Shaw Brothers movie.  It has been ever since I heard them being mentioned in a Wu Tang Clan song, who are one of my favorite musical groups.  I only own one Shaw Brothers movie, and it's a horror/kung fu hybrid called Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires and it's a collaboration with Hammer.  It's fantastic, but leans more towards kung fu than horror.  I expected more kung fu from this, but they've favored the downright weird, disgusting, bizarre train wreck of a movie (I mean that in a good way).  The plot is thin and layered over with lots of great action, cheesy special effects, Buddhist and occult practices and lots of really bizarre, disgusting scenes (including an eel coming out of a guys mouth).  This is on Youtube, so I recommend checking it out.  It's disgusting, funny, weird and insane.

The IMDB October Challenge: Day 1

The IMDB October Challenge is a special time of year for many a horror fan and sparks huge excitement every year.  It allows us to discover new movies, revisit classics and share recommendations with each other.  What it really does though is just give us another excuse to watch horror movies.  October is a special time for many horror fan though, this one included.  I marked day 1 of the October Challenge by watching 3 movies, all of which were first time views.  So without further adieu, I present to you my thoughts.

The Woman In Black (2012)

It was torture trying to pick which movie I wanted to watch first.  After I weighed up my options I managed to narrow it down to ghost movies.  I also had to watch one my girlfriend could enjoy since she was present at the time, so I chose the remake of a movie I really enjoy - The Woman In Black.

It gets off to a great start and has all the elements you need to create a creepy vibe; there's porcelain dolls, creepy little girls and a haunting score.  It's made all the more better when the little girls jump from a window to their deaths.  For the next hour, the movie is almost identical to the original, but afterwards it throws in some extra part of its own and becomes slightly superior to the original, albeit not by much.  I really enjoyed this and I give it a 7/10.  *Insert generic Harry Potter joke.*

The Entity (1982)

Another first time watch.  I know what you're thinking, how can I be a horror fan and only just seen The Entity?  I honestly couldn't tell you.  It's so uncool of me.  Even my mother has seen it.  Anyway, this was a fascinating movie as it was based on supposed actual events.  Despite a sloppy script, this was a thoroughly enjoyable feature that ventured between slightly disturbing and hilarious.  Although I don't condone rape, I think an invisible spirit with the horn is grounds for a kick ass horror movie.

Some of this was hilarious; the psychiatrist seemed to have an obsessive perverted fascination with all things sex.  Any time he talks about sex or asks about it just look at his expression and the look in his eyes and try and keep a straight face.  Anyway, great movie. 8/10.

The Wicker Man (1973)

I'm counting this as a first time viewing because every time I've tried to watch it in the past I've ended up missing it, either by staying up too late to watch it and falling asleep, failing to be home to watch it on television or some other unfortunate circumstances.  I've seen parts but not all of it.  Before I get started I should also mention I love Nic Cage's remake and he's my favorite actor.  The 1973 original however, has become an instant classic to me.

This is just so unique, funny, bizarre and original, all the while being a truly horrifying concept that's sugar coated with gleeful characters, wonderful music, the beauty of mother nature and celebratory nudity.  It's a low budget masterpiece.  Everything about it is just perfect.  10/10.


Overall, a very enjoyable first day to the Challenge.  I'm going to try and beat 31 movies this year due to my neglect of horror the past few weeks.  There's so much movies I intend to discover for the first time, as well as some classics and gems that need a revisit.  I'll keep you all posted here.