Wednesday, 10 December 2014

Elves (1989)

Say what you want about low budget 80's horror flicks, but there's no denying the atmospheres were the best and have rarely been duplicated as effectively since.  Elves might be a silly movie about horny elf creatures looking to mate with a virgin on Christmas Eve so they can start a Nazi super race to usher in the 4th Reich, but it has a wonderfully strange eeriness throughout that would make a great double feature with the likes of Pin, Night of the Demons or Parents, as well as any Puppetmaster movie.  As crappy, camp or cheesy as 80s horror movies could be, there's no denying they had a neat little vibe.  Elves, minus atmosphere, is a wonderful crapfest with some of the worst acting and best dialogue you'll ever experience.  I knew it was going to be great when the main girls little brother got caught peeping on her and unleashed a foul mouthed tirade about her ''big fucking tits'' and how he was going to tell everyone how he saw them. They weren't the biggest, but there was definitely something to grab.  It made me want a sister to perv on.  Throw in a wheelchair riding, Nazi, inbreeding grandfather/father, a pervy Santa who wants ''oral'' and a disgraced heroic chain smoker and we have a classic on our hands.  The beauty of this movie is it's not supposed to be a comedy at all, but some of the lines are just comedy gold.  Want to see for yourself?  Here it is.

You're welcome.

Really makes you think hose pesky Nazi's were really up to...

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